


Movie Marathons are Better When You're Here

by haunted_table_boi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Couch Cuddles, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Earth C (Homestuck), Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, GamKarDave, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Kismesissitude, Movie Night, Multi, No Beta read we die like men, Not Canon Compliant, Oneshot-kind of, POV Karkat Vantas, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Sappy, Valentines day fic bc why not, this shit is so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haunted_table_boi/pseuds/haunted_table_boi
Summary: Dave and Gamzee are gone all day and bombard Karkat with gifts as a surprise.Karkat has a surprise of his own.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Dave Strider, Gamzee Makara/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Movie Marathons are Better When You're Here

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is I just felt like I should post smth for v day, even if its hella late :P it was supposed to be a oneshot but then life happened lol  
> Turned out really fuckin cute tho so enjoy :)

==> Karkat: Freak the fuck out.

You will not freak the fuck out because you already did so several hours ago when you awoke to an empty apartment and couldn't get a hold of neither your matesprit nor moirail. You only semi-calmed down when you called June Egderp, who informed you that today is some idiotic human holiday to celebrate their relationships, and were probably off getting you a surprise in celebration. You vaguely remember something similar on Alternia, but you never really paid attention to holidays due to the fact it might have threatened your safety. Interacting with other trolls was always risky because of your blood color, but you don't have to worry about that here.  
Apparently, all you have to worry about is whether or not your matesprit and moirail might kill each other blackrom style. (Which they won't, because they've both proven that they love you more than they hate each other, but it's still worrying.) Although, if you asked your past self what he had to worry about, he definitely would've told you where the fuck Dave and Gamzee are and if they're okay and if they plan on leaving you.  
But now your only worries are the last two, which you'd say is pretty normal for you.  
You burrow further into the nest of blankets and pillows, hugging the crab plushies your boys won for you at the festival they took you to on your wriggling day last “year”. You contemplate what to watch next as the last twenty minutes of your meet-cute finish out when it strikes you how long they've been gone.  
According to June, they left at around eight in the morning, and it's nearly five in the afternoon. You adjust your burrowed hoodie uneasily. It's been almost nine hours since they've talked to you, and you can't help but wonder what's taking so long. It doesn't take nine hours to find you a crab plush, flowers, and some candy, you're pretty sure. Even if they spent some time celebrating their kismesissitude… Oh gog, what if they got into a fight and one of them got hurt? Gamzee can be a little unhinged when he's upset and Dave just LOVES to push people's buttons… What if they got stuck on the side of the road? What if their phones are dead and that's why they haven't been able to contact you? What if-  
You hear the front door slam against the wall as two people try to shove their way through it at the same time, bickering and squabbling like wigglers. Before you can even unbury yourself, the pair storm into the living room, arms loaded with junk in overflowing bags.  
“Happy V-day, Kitkat!!”  
“Happy motherfucking Disciple’s day, best friend.” they declare, somewhat together.  
“What the ever loving nook-eating FUCK is all that?” you're so completely dumbfounded that you fail to form words for a minute or two. “I think I would've been happy with just a crab plush and some candy.”  
Dave snorts as he unceremoniously dumped the gifts on the floor. “Most of this shit may be for you, but don't think we didn't get anything for ourselves. Besides, won't kill us if we spend a few hundred boondollars every now and again.” You thank gog he didn't mention the economy as he plops down next to you. “Now open my shit first, it's way better than anything fucking Mister ICP-Wannabe got you!”  
“Blasphemy!” Gamzee shouts, shoving Dave's face as he- sits on him? You decide not to question it; it's not like he gave you the time to anyway, since the highblood practically throws all his gifts on your lap. “Don't listen to that blasphemous motherfucker, Karbro, you know I bought you the motherfucking best miracles a brother could buy!”  
Before you could reply, Dave shoves Gamzee off of him before engaging in a small fight on the hardwood floor, knocking a few choice honks and words out of them. You laugh at the sight, even snort a little (much to your distaste). You never knew having your matesprit and moirail being kismesis could be so entertaining. You watch for a few more minutes, then descend to the floor to shoosh-pap them both, which goes about as smoothly as a Strider rap. (Which, for clarification, is not at all.)  
You immediately nearly get kicked in the face. In a fit of annoyance and more than slightly pissed, you snag a blanket from your nest and throw it on the two idiots on the ground.  
“Alright stupid nook-fuckers, as hilarious as your petty floor fights can be, kiss and make up or whatever you two do after you fight, I'm not your auspistice!” You shout at them, tossing a crab plush at them.  
You hear them whisper for a minute or two, then watch their faces connect for a moment before they emerge from the blanket, only immediately use it to render you immobile by wrapping you in it and crushing your arms in a death grip hug. Before you can even protest the action, two mouths shower your face in kisses, both taking turns briefly darting across your mouth. Embarrassment floods through your face, coloring your snow-white freckles candy red. “As sweet-” a stolen kiss from Gamzee, “as this bullsh-” another one from Dave this time, “-shit is-” this time you catch Gamzee, and Dave snickers at the surprised look on the clown’s face. “Can we please go through-” dammit, almost caught Dave, “all the fucking-” ha HA! Got him this time! “-shit you asstrains bought?”  
“Sure,” Dave rubs the small of your back as you kiss the boyfriend on your right (you honestly don't know who's your moirail and matesprit is anymore, but you don't really care). A surprised “hOnK” erupts from Gam as he nods, and you can guess why because a certain Strider has got a handful of you too.  
“Save it for the bedroom, moron,” you half grumble, but there's a smirk trying to sneak its way onto your face. Gamzee takes this opportunity to kiss the bleach-blonde idiot, giving you just enough freedom to slip out of their troll-human bear trap. You giggle at the blush on Dave’s face when the highblood pulls away as you settle back into your blanket nest. There's a bit of greasepaint smudged on his face and you know you have plenty on yours as well. Just as you got to wipe some of it off with the sleeve of your hoodie, Dave seems to notice something about your outfit.  
“Are you wearing our clothes?” You roll your eyes at the statement and Gamzee chuckles as he clears a spot next to you.  
“You left me alone for NINE HOURS without a single bit of communication or indication of where you were! I had to call JUNE to figure out what the fuck was going on! I'm not apologizing for getting lonely!!”  
“Sorry, Karbro, one of us was supposed to be motherfucking stayin’ home with ya but we got all up and confused about who was going and motherfuckin’ who was going to stay with our favorite miracle.” Dave nodded apologetically in agreement as he settled on the other side of you.  
“We bought you like, thirty movies and seven book if that makes you feel any better,” Dave tried, absent-mindedly playing with your curls.  
You turned to look him dead in his concealed ruby eyes. “And how many jars did you buy to put your fucking dead things in?” you crossed your arms expectantly.  
“Only twelve!” he panicked. You look at Gamzee.  
He raises his hands innocently. “I ain't snitching on a motherfuckin’ brother, best friend, that just ain't cool. If a brother says he bought twelve jars for his motherfucking blasphemous oddities, then a motherfucker bought twelve glass cylindrical containers.”  
You quirked an eyebrow. It wasn't often they covered each other's asses, but when they did, they were hiding something. “Then how many squeaker toys and bike horns did you buy?”  
Gamzee went silent; you looked at Dave to find him equally tight-lipped.  
“If neither of you fuckers are going to talk, then I guess I guess I'm going to have to check the car and see for myself,” before you could even get your ass off the couch, you had two confessions from two equally guilty boys.  
“27 jars for eight boondollar each! How could I say no, Karkles? Tell me how, I'd love to fucking know.”  
“Karbro, I was blessed with a miracle of a motherfucking two for ten boondollars sale. Are you up and telling a brother to refuse a motherfucking miracle so grand? And the special stardust was motherfucking calling me-”  
“Wait, you bought more edible glitter? After what happened last time?” Dave looked mortified. “Nuh-uh, no way am I cleaning up that shit again-”  
“YOU cleaned up?! I spent two weeks trying to vacuum the shit up before you even noticed there was ‘stardust’ stuck to half our hive! I even had to- GAMZEE NO!”  
While you were bickering with the human who cleaned up the “Special Stardust” incident, the cause of the whole event was about to restart it with a small container of edible glitter that came from seemingly nowhere. You smack it out of his hands before he can get it open, causing a sad honk.  
You pinch the bridge of your nose. “How'd he sneak that past you?!”  
“We weren't together the whole time! When we first left, we kept bickering and shit then some asshole told us to ‘get a block’ when we got a little more physical with our fights so we split up! No big deal! I didn't think I'd have to go through his bags like his fucking mom or something!”  
When you were about to remind him why he should have anyway, Gamzee started to giggle.  
“What's so funny, douchemuffin?” you practically snarl.  
“How'd you fit into my motherfucking pants, brother? No offense Karbro, but shouldn't they be all dangling over your feet?” he chuckles again, and this time Dave joins him.  
“I'm sorry, but please don't tell me you got your pants up to your pits again, I don't think I'd survive it, bro.”  
“I had to roll the waist and ankles, how else fucktwats?”  
There was a full moment of silence, then uproarious laughter. You have your moment of flustered embarrassment, then break down laughing too. You spent too long without your favorite people to stay upset with them for long.  
You kiss them both on their cheeks, then pick up a bag from each of their hauls. You chuckle and smile at their contents: a CD of the Princess Bride soundtrack and a little absurdly-colored sickle keychain. You love them. So much. You're going through all the presents they got for you, mostly small things like candy, plushes, clothes, throw blankets, and movies, but there were a few nice bits of jewelry like a necklace with your sign carved into it and a hand sculpted crab charm necklace. And the movies? None of them were anything you'd ever heard of, but had excellent ratings. Before you could even say anything, they basically shouted at you if they didn't stay up all night watching these, they were calling the hospital.  
You don't know you're going to make it up to them…  
Wait, yes you do! You have the perfect thing for them.  
You wait until Dave starts cleaning up the absolute disaster you all made, between Gamzee throwing the gifts on you and him on the ground and you going through them all; meanwhile, said juggalo goes to retrieve the shit Dave and him bought for themselves (and potentially each other?). It was the perfect time to grab your gifts from their hiding spots.  
While you wait for them to finish, you help Gamzee bring the stuff inside (you nearly screamed at how much shit they bought total). It took an agonizing hour and a half to bring everything in and put away, every moment your blood pusher pounding and aching to give them their gifts. When you finally finished, you guided them back to the couch, both moirails/matesprits/boyfriends/whatever assuming they were going to start the movie now.  
So naturally, when you kinda stood awkwardly in front of them, nervously wringing your wrists instead of turning on one of your new romcoms, Dave piped up, “What's wrong, Karkitty? Overwhelmed by all the choices?” When you don't say anything and shake your head, he adds with a little smirk, “It's not like you're asking us to marry you, Karkles.”  
You can't help but look at him, in all his “ironic” choice of clothing (seriously, he left the house in a Hello Kitty t-shirt, what the fuck) and laid-back posture, that cocky look on his face making you certain he's joking, and snap back in the calmest voice you've ever used, “Actually, I am, jackass.”  
He’s about to argue with you when you drop down on one knee and present them each with a ring you swear was made for them. Your throat goes dry, but you don't care. “Will you two human marry me?”  
Dave's speechless, covering his face with his hands, going as far as to take off his shades to make sure this was real, while Gamzee started a mantra of “Motherfuckin',”, seemingly unable to process what was going on. But he had seen enough romcoms with you to know exactly what was going on.  
Dave's crying now, speaking gibberish, apparently flabbergasted by the proposal. Gamzee reaches a shaky hand to his ring, a simple purple innerband and a swirled lime green and violet outside, repeating the word like it's the only reason he hasn't keeled over yet. Dave practically falls into your arms, shaking his head yes vigorously.  
Just when you go to ask what Gamzee’s response is, he puts the ring on almost wordlessly, immediately admiring it on his finger, light violet shimmering in the corners of his eyes.  
Dave is shaking in your arms, practically sobbing, when he asks you to if you could put the ring on for him. “What a rock,” he croaks, you know he's trying to make a joke, but the thing was gaudy in a way that was ironic and absolutely Dave Strider, with its big ruby encircled crows with their wings outstretched. You wipe away his tears and press your lips to his forehead, helping him calm down as he took deep breaths.  
“I knew it'd match your eyes.”  
Despite his blush, he ignores your cheesy-ass statement to pull out a ring of his own. “Me and the Juggalo might’ve been planning something too.” You stare at it for a moment, completely taken aback, before laughing at the irony. “Gam didn't have any pockets, so I held on to it, and we figured it was easier if we each just had one ring instead of two each.”  
“Of course you idiots did,” you were not fucking crying, nope, no way in hell, your voice definitely didn't fucking crack because that.  
“And we were gonna motherfuckin’ present it to you together too,” the highblood breathed, still mesmerized by the ring on his finger.  
“We were gonna wait until after dinner, after we made your favorite,” the blonde chuckled, having finally calmed down a bit, slipped the ring on your hand. It was silver, with a red gem in the center, suspended in between two ends of the band that went in opposite directions in a way that was very reminiscent of your sign. It was fucking perfect.  
You looked between your boyfriends. They were perfect. Shit, you loved them so much.  
You kissed them both deeply, turning on one of the new movies before resettling yourself between Gamzee and Dave on the couch, you leaning on the troll’s chest and the human’s head in your lap. You can't wait to brag about your idiot fiances and show off your ring tomorrow, but right now, you were deliriously happy sandwiched between your favorite guys, happier than you had been all day.  
Gamzee honked in laughter at the opening scene, where the main character dumped a tray of fast food on herself after losing her balance on her roller skates. Dave makes an off-color comment about her boss that makes you laugh and gently smack him. You find your hands lost in the blondes thick curls and Gamzee’s rubbing your shoulder. You and Gamzee are purring softly, you actively trying not to purr over the movie. Dave turns up the movie wordlessly; you smile, knowing how much he loves his boyfriends’ purring and that you want to watch the movie. You glance at each of them briefly to see Dave spinning his ring around his finger with a dopey smile to rival that of June Egbert, and Gamzee watching you both with a lazy grin as he moves his hand to pet Dave's arm, incidentally pushing you further into his chest. You adjust slightly to allow him more room, happy to see them flip from pitch to flushed so openly.  
You remove one hand from Dave's bleached hair to intertwine it with Gamzee’s clawed hand. Your fingers rub at the metal absent-mindedly as he rests his head on yours.  
Sure, you can't wait to plan the wedding, but you'd much rather have this moment last for forever, purring and watching movies with your fiancés until the world ends.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for readin whatever tf this is.  
> Comments Kudos and Bookmarks are appreciated ♡♡
> 
> Ring refs bc they were cool af:  
> KK-https://images.app.goo.gl/juFWw9g3dmmG3Ln89  
> Dave-https://images.app.goo.gl/F2JCNrc52viDo9nAA  
> Gamzee-https://i.etsystatic.com/19386491/r/il/303a98/2364398143/il_794xN.2364398143_o51c.jpg


End file.
